Hey man sorry I got all grabby
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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