she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
there was a trapeze. enough said
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
