Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
