5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she peed on how many people?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
