Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's Friday. Sex?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
