why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
