I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
