you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
