Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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