All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
