The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize