either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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