There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
