shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
