what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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