What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
