yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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