you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
