Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have aggressive nipples.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
