i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
