Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
