please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i dont even know how to be here
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
