Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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