I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
