capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
