your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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