My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
