i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
