I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
