Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
