the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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