I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
