Moan for me like Helen Keller
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
