It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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