We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
