just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
