I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
These tits shall not be calmed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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