yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
