i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
