we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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