i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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