Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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