that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
