a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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