I bet he comes in French.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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