I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
