And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
