Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
