You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
