I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
