im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
