Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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